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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788292">Outrun the Sun</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhovel/pseuds/zhovel'>zhovel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>LOONA (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Pensieves, Time Turner (Harry Potter), clearly the author needs to stop reading reddit aita threads, don't even ask, except it's like. not a hogwarts au, fixating on the past idk, just elements of the wizarding world, r/ help?? i think i'm in love with my arch nemesis????, r/what do you do when your arch nemesis needs your help</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:43:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,829</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhovel/pseuds/zhovel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sooyoung and Jinsol weren't exactly on the friendliest terms, and that’s putting it lightly. They used to bicker over every little thing. But Sooyoung only revelled in picking on Jinsol because she knew that Jinsol despised her.</p><p>Then the war happened. The last she heard, Jinsol was on the run.</p><p>Except Jinsol turns up on Sooyoung's doorstep unannounced. And now, Sooyoung has to juggle hiding Jinsol, resisting the urge to strangle her, and figuring out her newfound feelings. Meanwhile, Jinsol heals, and discovers that sometimes the past can't be fixed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Outrun the Sun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The wards are buzzing again. </p><p>Sooyoung doesn’t want to wake up yet. She’s still trapped in the blissful haziness of her dream: she was transfiguring Chaewon into a butterfly and trapping her into a jar because the girl had destroyed her living room last summer playing wizarding chess with Yeojin, a housewarming gift, the girl had claimed. But the wards don’t bother with a second warning— they just shock her over and over again, the stabbing pain growing worse with each second she lies there. Sooyoung grunts, rolling over and burying her face in the pillow. </p><p>It takes the sharp knock on her door for her to finally give in. Sooyoung reaches over blearily, feels around on her bedside table until she finds her wand and swishes it towards the wards, shutting them off. </p><p>Stupid magic.</p><p>Honestly, Sooyoung wouldn’t have minded living without magic for the rest of her life. She can use a washing machine and knows how to order takeout unlike most of her friends, she would’ve survived— but no, Haseul had to insist on casting protection spells around Sooyoung’s apartment even though she’s moved to a non-wizarding area. “You can’t trust anyone nowadays,” Haseul had said, and she had sounded so serious that Sooyoung had given in. </p><p>But she’s kind of regretting the decision now. The wards are stupid and overly-sensitive, constantly setting themselves off— one time a pigeon flew into her window and the wards fully lost it at the intrusion— and the worst part? Haseul says that they probably won’t settle down for at least another month or two, because of the lack of magic around the area. </p><p>(Sometimes, Sooyoung thinks that maybe she would’ve been better off if she had ignored the signs of magic instead. She could have— her magic hadn’t been that powerful. </p><p>Back when she was eleven, her mother had spent weeks squinting at the letter inviting her to Eden, convinced that the whole boarding school was a scam even though they’d been mailed a picture of the headmaster waving and someone had literally shown up to convince them of the existence of magic. The thing that changed their minds was Sooyoung swishing her first wand after buying it, accidentally sending the photo frames on the walls flying.</p><p>Nothing had felt more right for Sooyoung.</p><p>As for her relationship with her parents— it was never quite the same, after that. Sooyoung still feels a little bitter about it. Maybe a regular, boring life would’ve been better. She could have danced, at least.)</p><p>The wards buzz impatiently. </p><p>“Shut up!” Sooyoung yells, completely fed up; but at least she’s awake now. </p><p>Whoever’s outside can’t hear her, anyway. There are multiple layers of muffling charms plastered on her walls, the result of too many game nights hosted at her place, very thin walls, and neighbours who actually go to sleep before midnight. Sooyoung rolls her eyes, not really bothered by it— it’s probably just Hyejoo again, anyway.</p><p>Back when they were at school, Sooyoung had to booby-trap her snacks because Hyejoo kept finishing them off at night. They ended up striking a deal— Sooyoung would sneak food into the dorms in exchange for Hyejoo helping her study. Somehow, that habit trickled down into their adult life, too. Sometimes, Hyejoo still drops by without a warning if she gets too caught up in experimenting with potions to remember to eat. Sooyoung’s perfected wandless heating charms by now from all the times she’s warmed up leftovers for Hyejoo, but she doesn’t really have the heart to tell her to stop because this is one of the last few reminders of their old life, and she’s learned to hold those little bits of normalcy close to her heart. </p><p>“Honestly,” Sooyoung begins, opening the door, “can’t you ju—”</p><p>The girl— the <em> woman— </em>in front of her looks up. Sooyoung’s eyes drop down to pink lips, and her heart stops. </p><p>This isn’t Hyejoo. </p><p>Hyejoo slouches, but the person in front of her doesn’t. Sooyoung knows this person’s mannerisms like the back of her own hand, but even if she didn’t— the sharp, perfect jaw was unmistakable for someone else. And those eyes— </p><p>She <em> knows </em> them. She had spent a long time since the war trying to forget them, but they still haunt her dreams. One time, Sooyoung had woken up with tears in her eyes and her heart heavy. And right now they sear into her with ease, the kind of familiarity that can only come from decades of practice. </p><p>“Hello, Sooyoung.”</p><p>Jung Jinsol stands in front of her, a ghost from the past. </p><p>Sooyoung’s mouth is dry. Something in her chest feels completely hollow, as if someone had hit her with a stunning spell and knocked all the air out of her lungs, because she can’t quite seem to remember how to breathe. </p><p>This wasn’t supposed to happen. </p><p>The last she heard, Jinsol was on the run. Someone had left an anonymous tip exposing her as the brains behind The Circle, and all her connections and wealth had turned out to be for nothing, afterall. She had simply disappeared overnight. Sooyoung thought she’d never see Jinsol again, but— here she is. </p><p>She’s still so, so maddenly pretty. </p><p>Sooyoung’s eyes flit over the newly-healed scar on Jinsol’s face, then the black hair, and the nostalgia rushes up in her, sudden and dizzying. It hadn’t been this colour since their second year, the year their relationship went downhill. Sooyoung’s almost forgotten how Jinsol used to look. For a moment, it almost feels as if they were back at Eden again, fourteen and caught up in things that didn’t matter; but Sooyoung’s certain that it wouldn’t go down well with Jinsol if she said, <em> I’ve been thinking of you </em>.</p><p>They never got the chance to have a proper last year. </p><p>The war broke out in late October. Sooyoung watched in horror, back then, as people chose sides and started to turn on each other— even people who had grown up alongside each other. Even friends, even apprentices who turned on their mentors and vice versa. It was too easy to get caught up in the bloodshed. The Korean wizarding world was only so big, there hadn’t been enough space for research and order to coexist. But people to protect; for love, for duty— everyone had a reason. </p><p>Jinsol hadn’t been on her side.</p><p>Sooyoung should never have expected her to be in the first place. It was easy to forget that they were fundamentally different people, she supposes, when the last time they had seen each other, the world had felt like it was on the verge of collapse. </p><p>Perhaps it had been, back then.</p><p>(Jinsol turned back, she remembers. She turned back and their eyes met across the dining hall and Jinsol had given her a look that Sooyoung never quite understood. </p><p>Then the next second, Jinsol was gone.) </p><p>Sooyoung tries not to pay attention to the news these days. Sometimes the radio plays in the background when she’s working so she overhears the reports; she knows that they’re still trying to track down the names of all the people who are lost from the experiments. Haseul tells her that some of them are probably just in hiding, but the downturn of her lips tells Sooyoung that the positivity was unwarranted. </p><p>Nothing will ever be the same again, even if they’re past the worst of it.</p><p>Sooyoung doesn’t know if she should consider herself lucky. The most she lost was a few people that she knew, but wasn’t close to. A childhood, maybe. Thinking about the past makes her feel queasy and wrong inside, because Sooyoung hadn’t even brushed past the surface of all the suffering that had gone on.</p><p>She wonders what Jinsol sacrificed. Sooyoung’s eyes flicker back up to Jinsol’s face, and she tries her best not to stare at the ugly, white slash across her right eye. </p><p>Jinsol doesn’t seem to notice though. She tilts her head to the side, managing to look nonchalant even though her posture is rigid. (She used to do the same back in the dorms, showing up minutes before curfew just to infuriate Sooyoung.)</p><p>“You don’t have a knocker on your door,” Jinsol points out. Somehow, she manages to make the slow words sound like she’s greeting an old friend, instead of— of whatever they were, back then. “Honestly. That’s quite plebeian of you.” </p><p>Sooyoung snaps back to attention.</p><p>It was <em> Jung Jinsol </em> in front of her, not someone she had good memories of. They hadn’t exactly been on the friendliest terms back at Eden, and that’s putting it lightly. </p><p>They used to bicker over every single little thing. Sometimes Sooyoung would follow Jinsol around after class just to make fun of her studying, the same as how Jinsol used to sneak into her room to rile her up. But it was a fair exchange. Sooyoung only revelled in picking on Jinsol because she knew that Jinsol despised her.</p><p>Sooyoung hated Jinsol because of how stupidly comfortable she was in her own skin, anyway.</p><p>“I happen to manage fine without one!” </p><p>The reply is several moments too late, and they both know it. Jinsol arches a thin, delicate eyebrow at Sooyoung and almost immediately, Sooyoung’s blood starts boiling. </p><p>(It wasn’t fair. Jinsol still affected her so easily. Even without trying, she could push all of Sooyoung’s buttons at the same time, and Sooyoung doesn’t like the fact that Jinsol has so much unknowing control over her.)</p><p>“It’s rude,” Jinsol says, completely assured. “Not that you’d know it. You tend to do things without thinking, you know.” Her posh accent slips through, halfway through her sentence. </p><p>Sooyoung hates it. Sooyoung hates this conversation, she hates how she almost convinced herself that they weren’t enemies anymore when clearly, Jinsol still thinks of her as inferior. “Like <em> you’re </em> any better,” she hisses.</p><p>The wards spark if there’s emotion in her voice. Sooyoung grits her teeth, refusing to give Jinsol the pleasure of seeing them react.</p><p>Jinsol just shrugs.</p><p>The air thrums with tension and magic and something else, something <em> more</em>. It’s familiar territory. This, Sooyoung knows what to do with; and it’s a little thrilling— not that she’d admit it. </p><p>“You broke someone’s wand in charms class,” she reminds Jinsol, the words soft but biting. Sooyoung’s wand hums in her hand at the words, warm and comforting— it’s only then that Sooyoung’s eyes flicker down to Jinsol’s hands and realises that she hadn’t been spinning her wand between her fingers, one of Jinsol’s many mindless habits when she was trying to get a rise out of Sooyoung. Sooyoung only noticed because it irked her. No other reason why.</p><p>It’s strange, seeing Jinsol’s hands so empty. </p><p>She wonders where her wand went.</p><p>Jinsol’s eyes dart towards her and for the slightest of moments, when their gazes meet, there’s a cold, probing pressure in Sooyoung’s mind— then it’s gone. Jinsol looks away, swallowing, and if Sooyoung hadn’t been watching her so carefully, she would’ve missed the anguish that flashed across Jinsol’s face. </p><p><em> That’s new</em>.</p><p>Jinsol’s fingers twitch against empty air, and her eyes turn guarded. </p><p>“So,” she says, “are you going to let me in, or?”</p><p>There’s barely anything off about her at all, apart from the sudden iciness in her voice. Sooyoung has to give it to her— Jinsol is a great actress. Gauging her intentions had always been hard, but it’s only gotten more difficult with time.</p><p>“Let you in?”</p><p>Jinsol sniffs, somehow managing to look even more haughty than usual, as if there was nothing unusual about her showing up here in the middle of the night without a single warning. “I’m here, aren’t I?” </p><p>“All of a sudden?” Sooyoung says, narrowing her eyes at Jinsol.</p><p>“Maybe I wanted to pay you a visit,” says Jinsol, sounding completely convincing. If Sooyoung hadn’t known better, she would’ve believed her.</p><p>“Me. Out of all people.” </p><p>“I mean— I’m <em> here</em>, aren’t I?” Jinsol repeats, plainly as if she were trying to explain something very simple to a child, and not avoiding Sooyoung’s question like it was the killing curse. “Merlin. For someone who was a team captain, you can be quite slow sometimes.”</p><p>Sooyoung’s left scrabbling for a comeback, flustered. “It’s— it’s literally one in the morning,” she splutters, eyebrow twitching. </p><p>“You say that like you wouldn’t be awake anyway.”</p><p>There was a late night library trip with Hyejoo, once, and they caught Jinsol sleeping at one of the tables. Sooyoung spilled ink on her essay, felt bad, and copied the entire thing back onto fresh parchment for her. Jinsol had noticed in the morning of course, but they just never mentioned it. Sooyoung wonders if Jinsol still remembers. </p><p>“I sleep earlier now. Not that you’d know.”</p><p>“I suppose I wouldn’t,” answers Jinsol, nodding along, and there’s something deliberate in her expression and it’s infuriating. Jinsol has always been so much better at her when it comes to reading people. Sooyoung doesn’t like it when Jinsol has the upper hand.</p><p>Sooyoung purses her lips. “I could just say no, you know.”</p><p>“Yes,” Jinsol says, and stops. Then she swallows, and Sooyoung’s eyes follow the bob of her throat. “Well.”</p><p>It should have been simple.</p><p>Sooyoung wouldn’t be putting it off if it had been anyone else— she would’ve let them in without a second thought; she tries hard to keep her home open because she wants to be the person she never had. She knows how it feels to be asked questions you don’t have the answer to. No one deserves to go through that. </p><p>But this is Jinsol. </p><p>Even if Sooyoung ignores the fact that she turned up here in the middle of the night, it’s still kind of hard to ignore the fact that they never really got on when Jinsol’s right here, picking a fight with Sooyoung. And on top of all that, there’s a literal witch hunt for her. Any sane person would’ve turned her away. </p><p>Sooyoung never claimed to be sensible though.</p><p>Something’s stopping her. She can’t put her finger on it, but her gut instinct is telling her to listen to Jinsol, as wary as she should’ve been, so Sooyoung sighs, crossing her arms protectively across her chest, and shifts to cover the inside of her apartment. “Why are you here?” she asks, not unkindly though. “Can’t you just tell me?”</p><p>Jinsol seems to fold into herself at the question. </p><p>There’s a pregnant pause.</p><p>Sooyoung waits, but Jinsol’s gaze just burns into the ground, dark and mournful and bitter, and she doesn’t say anything. It’s enough to make Sooyoung hesitate. </p><p>All those years they’ve known each other, and she’s never seen Jinsol like this. Not even at her worst, when they were facing boggarts in class and Jinsol had opened the closet door to see her father staring at her, belt in hand. It’s only then that Sooyoung starts picking up on things she didn’t notice before — the dark streak on the side of Jinsol’s shirt, a curse that must’ve barely missed her, she realises with a shudder. The slightest change in where she had been standing, and it would’ve killed her. </p><p>“Jinsol?” Sooyoung prompts. </p><p>“Sooyoung,” Jinsol says, and her voice wavers. Finally, she looks up, and for the first time in a decade, Sooyoung sees the cracks in her armour. Something about the moment is hauntingly familiar. “I— I don’t know where else to go.” </p><p>The last time they had seen each other. Jinsol hadn’t begged her for anything, but she stared at Sooyoung so fiercely before she left that the imprint of her gaze never quite left Sooyoung’s mind. </p><p>Sooyoung never understood why. </p><p>She opens her mouth to reply. Except Jinsol’s face turns white in the exact same moment, the only warning Sooyoung gets before Jinsol’s legs give out, and she crumples like a sheet of paper. Sooyoung reacts instinctively, whipping her wand at Jinsol and yanking upwards. </p><p>“<em>Wingardium Leviosa!</em>” </p><p>The sudden eruption of magic is powerful enough that her wand sparks. Jinsol’s body jerks upward midair like a sad little rag doll; Sooyoung is left with her arm tingling and her breathing heavy. She hasn’t felt magic course through her like this in a while, she’s only been using lazy household charms for the past year or so. The spell manages to hold though— and that’s the important thing.</p><p>It’s only when the adrenaline ebbs that Sooyoung thinks back and realises that Jinsol’s head had been mere inches away from the floor. If she had been a second slower— </p><p>Sooyoung clenches her eyes shut. She doesn’t want to think of the alternative— she can’t. </p><p><em> Get a grip, Sooyoung</em>.</p><p>It takes far too long for her hands to steady. Sooyoung floats Jinsol back onto the ground, trying her best to be gentle even though it’s half a battle with herself. She can barely stomach the sight of Jinsol’s face right now, not for all the usual reasons though— Jinsol’s face is just too pale, too empty. She almost looks dead. </p><p>Sooyoung’s stomach lurches again at the thought.</p><p>Jinsol’s chest is rising and falling, at least, even if it’s much too shallow for Sooyoung’s liking. Her hair had been mussed up by the comotation. It’s easier for Sooyoung to lie to herself when she sees the ends of Jinsol’s bangs poking into her eyes— it would’ve made her uncomfortable if she were awake, Sooyoung reasons, and it’s not because Sooyoung’s worried about her or anything. It’s fine for Sooyoung to sink down to her knees and smooth the strands of hair back where they belong.</p><p>When Sooyoung touches Jinsol though, she can feel the void in her aura where her magic should have been. It’s almost completely gone.</p><p>Sooyoung shivers unconsciously. “Merlin, Jinsol,” she whispers to herself, hand still lingering on the side of Jinsol’s face, because moving away doesn’t feel like the right thing to do yet. “What the hell happened to you?” </p><p>She’s afraid of what will happen if she lets go.</p><p>It’s only when her neighbour’s toilet flushes that Sooyoung blinks, mind catching up to reality, and she registers the position she’s in. Wand out in the middle of a non-magical building? Check. Unconscious body in front of her feet? Check. It’s a rundown part of the city and people tend to mind their own business here, but someone could’ve walked out of their apartment at any time. She wouldn’t have heard the end of it from Haseul if she had gotten caught and had to oblivate everyone on her floor.</p><p>Stupid, stupid move. </p><p>Sooyoung swears, clumsily shoving her wand into her pants. (She’s in her pyjamas and it's the only place she can think of right now, sue her.) Without a second thought, she bends down and scoops Jinsol into her arms, bridal style. </p><p>Jinsol’s all knees and elbows. It’s easier than it should’ve been for Sooyoung to lift her up. Something inside Sooyoung fires up protectively at the thought but she pushes the feeling away, knowing how proud Jinsol can be; and deep down, begrudgingly, Sooyoung respects that.</p><p>She’s the same, after all.</p><p>She nudges the door open with a shoulder. Right before she crosses the threshold of her apartment though, she hesitates, looking at the side of Jinsol’s face. “I guess you got what you wanted,” she mutters.</p><p>Sooyoung doesn’t drop Jinsol, but she does knock her against the doorframe by accident— then the side of the coffee table when she passes it. Sooyoung winces at the dull thumps but she resists the urge to apologise, because if there was anything that could make the situation more surreal, it would be apologising to Jinsol, even if she can’t exactly hear Sooyoung right now. </p><p>“You’re heavy,” Sooyoung says out loud, trying to make things seem as normal as they can be, but Jinsol doesn’t even stir.</p><p>Right.</p><p>Out cold, then. </p><p>Bantering with an unconscious Jinsol doesn’t have the same ring to it. Sooyoung grunts as she sets Jinsol down onto the sofa. </p><p>It was hard to miss the way Jinsol’s burning up, even through her clothes. Sooyoung checks Jinsol’s forehead with the back of her hand, not even bothering to hide her worry. </p><p>It’s worse than she thought it would be. Jinsol’s skin cackles with dry, feverish magic. Sooyoung jerks her hand back immediately, not wanting to make things worse. She might not have paid attention back in Charms, but even she knows enough to know that you should never tamper with magic you’re unfamiliar with.</p><p>This is way out of her league. Sooyoung barely knows what she’s doing when it comes to magic half the time, she needs someone who actually knows theories and— </p><p>
  <em> Haseul! </em>
</p><p>At the thought of her steadfast, loyal friend, the relief comes rushing in. Haseul’s one of the smartest people she knows. She would know something, right? Anything’s better than what Sooyoung knows, at least, she’s at the end of her wits. </p><p>She can’t exactly fire-call Haseul in this apartment because there’s no fireplace and the Floo network doesn’t run in Muggle apartments, but Haseul’s one of the few people who owns a working phone, thank Merlin. Sooyoung dashes towards her bedroom and snatches her phone off her bed, clutching it like a lifeline. She videocalls Haseul, hands shaking.</p><p>It takes longer than she thought it would for Haseul to pick up. </p><p>“Sooyoung?” she says, sounding confused.</p><p>“Haseul!” Sooyoung says, much more desperately than she meant to. “I kind of need your advice on something right now.” </p><p>Haseul shakes her head hurriedly. “This isn’t a good time, Soo.”</p><p>“Just give me a couple minutes?”</p><p>“I can’t.” Haseul disappears out of frame for a moment then returns, looking even more frazzled than how Sooyoung felt. “It’s the holidays. You know what that means.” </p><p>The days almost blur together now. It’s been getting harder and harder to tell time since her days at Eden, Sooyoung’s almost forgotten about what holidays mean for Haseul— they’re worse on her than on any of their friends because of her sister. Yeojin can never decide if she wants to come home until the day the train leaves for Suncheon, and if she does, she’ll have to stay with Haseul even though Haseul’s barely twenty one and doesn’t really have her shit together. There is no other alternative for the two of them. Sooyoung still remembers the dove Patronus that had came flapping into the room, Haseul’s distressed voice going <em> they’re gone, Sooyoung, they— </em></p><p>Family’s family. Sooyoung understands. Normally, she’d even pay Haseul a quick visit to say hi to Yeojin, but right now— </p><p>“I know, Haseul. I’m sorry. I—” </p><p>Behind Haseul, there’s the sound of glass shattering. Haseul shuts her eyes, but not before a delighted screech manages to trickle through the phone, one that sounds suspiciously like Yeojin. Sooyoung already knows what it means for her, even before Haseul shoots a look behind her and rubs at her temples. “Is this an emergency? Like, I can spare you some time if you really need it, but please don’t let it be an emergency.” </p><p>If Sooyoung just showed her Jinsol lying on the sofa, Haseul would’ve dropped everything to come help her. If there was one more person who despised Jinsol more than she did, it would be Haseul. Sooyoung might’ve teased Jinsol back at Eden, but Haseul <em> hated </em> her and everything she stood for. </p><p>Sooyoung bites her lip and peers out of the open bedroom door, deliberating. She’s in way over her head, but on the other hand— deep inside, an odd little part of Sooyoung feels some sort of twisted sense of obligation to Jinsol. She knows that Jinsol wouldn’t want Haseul to see her like this, asleep and broken and at her most vulnerable. She ends up running a hand through her hair, frustrated at the words about to leave her mouth. “Never mind. I’m fine! Completely fine. Go take care of Yeojin!” </p><p>Even before Haseul speaks, Sooyoung can already see the guilt in her expression and winces internally. Haseul has a tendency to take on more than she can deal with— one of the reasons why they get on so well— and Sooyoung had unintentionally added her problems to the toppling pile of Haseul’s to-dos. </p><p>“Sorry, Sooyoung,” Haseul says, and smiles at her, tight-lipped. To her credit, she sounds completely earnest even though Sooyoung knows that she’s not really that sorry. “Tomorrow. I promise.”</p><p>Abruptly, the video cuts off. Sooyoung stares at her black, uninviting screen; she groans in despair and drops her phone onto her bed, face down. </p><p>At least she tried. </p><p>Sooyoung stretches up, feeling the bones in her body crack as the stress of the day finally catches up to her. She stares at the walls blankly for a second, before giving into the urge to check on Jinsol.</p><p>Jinsol’s still on the sofa, in the same position as Sooyoung left her in. But now that Sooyoung’s looking at her from the other end of the apartment, she looks smaller than she usually does. </p><p>It’s quieter in here. There’s no flicker of broken lights from the corridor to distract them, and it’s easy to see how cruel the last few years have been on Jinsol. </p><p>Sometimes Sooyoung forgets that they haven’t seen each other properly since— since Eden. </p><p>Sooyoung has been dreaming a lot in the last few years. She doesn’t like it, of course; but it’s easy to forget that when Jinsol is a recurring character in most of her dreams, and sometimes Sooyoung wakes up with her heart seizing and longing for something familiar, something cruel that makes her laugh. </p><p>The Jinsol that lives in her memories isn’t the same as the Jinsol in front of her. </p><p>This Jinsol has dark circles under her eyes. She’s changed— even if the years apart haven’t completely gotten rid of the chub on her face, she’s still grown sharper and lankier. Between her eyebrows was a mark— this one seems to be a normal clumsy-Jinsol scar though, unlike the healed, obviously magically-induced slash across Jinsol’s eye. Sooyoung bites her lip and tries to recall if the mark has always been there, but she doesn’t really know anymore. </p><p>Sooyoung doesn’t want to let go of all the resentment she has towards Jinsol, but with Jinsol like this in front of her, she can’t feel anything but stinging pity. And it’s easier to forget all her past misgivings about Jinsol when she’s not awake and being snarky. </p><p>“What happened to you?” she repeats, softer this time. </p><p>The urge to lean over and trace the mark is too strong for her liking. So instead, Sooyoung hugs her knees to her chest, letting her head fall and finally letting herself breathe.</p><p>It’s comforting like this. Jinsol’s a steady warmth beside her— the apartment has always been cold and empty; but it’s less so like this. Sooyoung’s almost grateful for it. </p><p>But then, after a while of sitting there, it starts feeling wrong again. The urge to be <em> doing </em> something starts creeping back in. Sooyoung’s leg bounces from the nervous, pent-up energy inside her, but she doesn’t really want to leave Jinsol’s side yet. </p><p>She ends up busying herself with wringing a damp towel and wrapping it around a bag of frozen peas—she really needs to go grocery shopping soon—and making sure that it isn’t cold enough to hurt. She could’ve <em> accio </em>ed the ice instead, but it would’ve left her hands empty all too soon and it’s better like this, being distracted. Better than the sinking feeling in her stomach that comes with being helpless. </p><p>Sooyoung’s taking comfort in the fact that she’s doing things for Jinsol herself. She doesn’t quite dare do anything but place the makeshift ice pack on Jinsol’s forehead and hope that it’s enough, what she’s doing. </p><p>She might have a stupid, childish rivalry with Jinsol, but that doesn’t mean that she wanted her <em> die. </em> </p><p>“Tell me if you need anything, okay?” she says softly, just in case Jinsol can hear her through her stupor and stands there, staring at Jinsol’s slack face. She almost looks peaceful like this, if Sooyoung forgets everything that happened. </p><p>Sooyoung doesn’t really want to go back to her bedroom. She curls up next to Jinsol on the sofa, hand finding its way to her mouth automatically, nibbling mindlessly on a hangnail.</p><p>Her stomach is in knots. She hasn’t been this alone and scared in a long time— this is a sudden responsibility that she never asked for. Jinsol had came here for a reason, Sooyoung knows. Sooyoung hadn’t been involved in the war and no one had expected her to be, solely because of her lineage. </p><p>Sooyoung doesn’t begrudge Jinsol for coming here. But now, suddenly, she doesn’t know who to trust anymore— she can’t tell who would turn Jinsol in and who wouldn’t. </p><p>"What am I supposed to do?" she whispers.</p><p>She doesn't know if she's asking Jinsoul or herself.</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>a multi-chapter fic? in this economy?</p><p>my eyes hurt, i'm editing this at 2am, and i think my body is slowly deteriorating with each new fic i post. i'm not even joking. if you follow me on twitter you'd know. and thank u ana my lovely beta — oh look i rhymed! ples i just want to go to sleep leave a comment idk</p><p> </p><p>twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/yvezoul">yvezoul</a><br/>curiouscat: <a href="https://curiouscat.me/yvezoul">yvezoul</a><br/></p></blockquote></div></div>
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